So, you’ve handed back the laptop, waved goodbye to office politics, and happily deleted that alarm clock app that put a fear of dread up you every working morning. Your retirement has officially begun – woo hoo! I mean, after all, you may have waited 30-40 years for this moment, so a woo hoo is definitely called for here. But here’s the thing nobody really prepares you for: those first 30 days of retirement can start to make you feel a little…well, odd.
Not bad, not catastrophic, just strange. Because after years – or more likely decades – of structure, deadlines, meetings, and juggling family with work life, you suddenely find yourself staring at a calender that is blissfully empty. For some of course, that could be pure joy. Nothing to do, feet up, now light that cigar. But for others, it can be a little like standing on the edge of a cliff: exhilirating, but also a little terrifying.
This post is here to guide you through those all-important early days – the emotional wobbles, the unexpected wins, and the small tweaks you can make to ensure retirement is not just bearable, but totally brilliant.
Day 1: The Big Exhale
Your last official work day is behind you. Maybe there were speeches (scary) and cake (yummy, not scary). Maybe you slipped out quietly. Either way, when you wake up on that first morning of retirement, your body knows something is different.
Some people leap out of bed ready to conquer the garden, repaint the living room, or finally sort out the garage. Jobs which may have been put off every weekend for as long as you can remember. Others stay under the duvet, enjoying the delicious luxury of not having to be anywhere. Nice. Both reactions are quite different and both are perfectly normal.
Tip: Don’t pressure yourself to use time well from Day 1. Think of it as your mini holiday – after all, you could argue you’re due one after 40 years of the grind. Enjoy the lie-in, go for a slow walk, eat breakfast without rushing. Give yourself permission to simply be.
Week 1: The “Now What?” stage
Once the novelty of that first morning wears off, you may start to feel the wobble. Humans are creatures of habit, and without the commitment of work, it’s easy to feel a little untethered.
Here are a few common surprises in Week 1:
Time feels slippery. Time feels slippery, what am I going on about? You basically loose track of the days, a bit like some of us will do over Christmas. Is it Tuesday, is it Friday, is it Christmas? Who knows.
Emails dry up. I appreciate this can all depend on the nature of your job. Some of you will have had careers where emails weren’t really a thing – lucky you. Others will have been bombarded with them – unlucky you. It maybe though that you miss that little ping with that curiosity of wanting to know who wants what now.
Energy levels shift. Without work stress, you might feel a surge of energy…or the complete opposite, you might crash, realising how much your body was running on adrenaline.
Identity questions start to creep in. Identity is a topic we will return to on this blog, as I feel it’s such an important part of our existence. But now your retired, when people ask “So, what do you do?” you might stumble.
This is all part of the adjustment. Think of it like jet-lag after a long-haul flight: you’re in a new timezone, and your system needs to recalibrate.
Week 2: The Experimentation Zone
By the second week, it maybe that you feel comfortable to start to test the waters of your “new life”. Maybe you try that Yoga class, head out for a mid-morning coffee, or finally start to tackle the books you have been meaning to read.
This week is about exploration, not perfection. I believe we should experiment with activities in life. There is so much choice out there, and let’s be honest, most of us will only ever touch the surface of all there is to do in this world. Try a few small experiments. Remember, you can choose how much time you dedicate to this. Start small – if your initial impressions are positive, dedicate some more time. If your initial impressions are “Well, that was a load of rubbish.” then move on, do something else.
Here are a few experiments you could try out:
Learn something new online. Free or low costs courses from sites such as Alison, Udemy and Coursera. I also like the BBC bitesize learning to. It’s never too late to go back to school.
Join a walking group. Well, I love walking so I was always going to recommend this. A group is fine, but you may also like to walk solo. Great thinking time if you do. Either way, get yourself outdoors, put one foot in front of another, and see where it takes you. Hopefully back home at some point.
Volunteer locally. From food banks, to mentoring schemes, giving back often provides a real sense of purpose. Remember, this is all about experimenting. Select one, give it a go, and see how you feel afterwards. If it feels right, continue. If it doesn’t, pick another one. There will be enough opportunities out there for you to dabble with before landing on one that feels appropriate for you.
Book club. Combine reading with social connection. Can be in-person, or online, formal, or just have a glass of wine and chat about books. If there isn’t one locally available, consider starting one up.
There is of course, so much more. The key is to think of these as taster sessions – you don’t have to marry the hobby, just take it on a date and see where it leads.
Week 3: The Honeymoon Wears off (and That’s Okay)
By the third week, many new retirees might hit an unexpected dip. At first, retirement felt like an endless holiday. But as the novely fades, reality sets in: this isn’t a break, it’s your new normal.
This stage can bring a cocktail of emotions:
Boredom. The freedom feels great but in can lead into restlessness and a lot of procrastination.
Unease. Without getting the validation from work that you used to, you might question whether you are ‘doing enough’, or what your purpose actually now is. Throughout our life our purpose was handed on a plate. Go to school – do the best you can. Go to work – maintain a job, try and do well at it, pay the bills. Now some form of unease may develop as you question what it is you are now here to do.
Comparison. You might look at other retirees – the busy travellers, the volunteer superstars – and wonder if you are falling short. Oh, the delights of social media and the way of us knowing so much about how others spend their time these days.
The important thing to recognise here is that this is natural. You’ve stepped off a treadmill you’ve been on for decades. It takes time to find a new, perhaps less frantic, pace.
Tip: Instead of panicking, reframe this stage as a sign that you’re ready for the next phase of retirement: creating new rhythms and new routines. Reframing is so important. It’s a way of seeing a situation you are in, and thinking about it in a way that is more beneficial to you. It’s a skill, but with practice is more than possible.
Week 4: Building Your Foundations
By the fourth week, you’ve had time to rest, experiment and wobble a bit. Now it’s time to start laying the foundations for a fulfilling retirement. That doesn’t mean mapping out every day for the next 30 years (what a bore) . It just means putting in place some gentle scaffolding to support your wellbeing.
Here are a few key areas to focus on.
Structure without shackles. You don’t need to replicate a 9-5, but a light structure helps. You’ve been used to structure ever since you were a kid: school, work, family commitments etc, so it’s something you’re used to and helps you navigate your day. But you don’t have to go all in like you have done. A morning walk, a weekly catch up with your friends, or thirty minutes a day to commence that hobby you’ve been meaning to start since you finished high school!
Purpose that fits you. There it is, the ‘P’ word again. We will talk a lot about purpose over the coming months and years as I personally believe it to be an integal part of our overall well-being. But that’s a conversation for another day. Purpose doesn’t have to mean climbing mountains, volunteering, or being a mastermind at making sourdough. It can be more simple things in life. Be a great grandparent, help others, live with gratitude, enjoy nature: there is so much more. Ask yourself: What do I want to move towards?
Social connection. So much research shows the importance of social connection, another topic I will touch upon far more. Work will have often provided that social contact for you. But now it’s different – it’s up to you to create it. That can sound a bit scary, but again it’s something we will delve into deeply, and come out with a range of ideas. For now, consider joining a walking group, phoning an old friend, joining a local club, volunteering , or just passing the day with one of your neighbours. Who knows – they may be greatful for the chat to.
Wellbeing basics. Think of retirement as a chance to reset your health. It is, and I repeat, it is, never too late. That means exercise (walking is perfect – says me, the man who can’t get enough of it), balanced meals and sufficient sleep. It’s easy to slip into long lie-ins but your body does need a rhythm.
What Nobody Tells You About the First 30 Days
Okay, so one or two people might mention something about it, but let’s presume that the majority of people don’t. Nothing beats a catchy heading!
You might miss work. Not necessarily the job, but the banter, the laughs, the routines, even the buzz of being ‘needed’. Missing it doesn’t mean you made the wrong choice.
Freedom can feel overwhelming. Having “all the time in the world” sounds great, but without direction it can feel paralysing.
Your partner might drive you mad. Or indeed, you might drive your partner mad. It’s an important one to reference. You may now be together 16 waking hours of each day, whereas previously you both did your own things, and then relaxed a little in the evening. Now, you are together the bulk of the time. That could cause a little friction. (Tip: Do things together of course, but also factor in doing your own indiviual activities. You will likely have your own interests – nurture those, but also consider the things you enjoy doing as a couple).
You’ll redfine success. It shifts from promotions, positive feedback and deadlines to things like feeling content, connected and healthy.
Moving beyond the first 30 days
Once you’ve navigated the first month, you’ll start to notice patterns. Some days will feel amazing – others a bit flat. That, I would say, is normal. The key is to avoid judging yourself by old standards of “productivity”. Retirement isn’t about output – geez, you’ve had that for the majority of your life from school through to your work. You deserve a break! No, it’s about living in a way that feels good, meaningful, and is sustainable for you.
Here are a few longer term ideas to keep you on track.
Create mini-projects. Instead of vague goals such as “get fit”, try “walk 100 miles in three months” or pick a course of interest on learning platforms such as Udemy, Alison or Coursera.
Give back. Volunteering, mentoring, or even informal helping-out gives you a sense of contribution. Think about it, everyone wins here. The charity or place you are volunteering at benefits with your contributions, and you feel better for offering your time and expertise. Win, win.
Stay flexible. I think this is important. Retirement isn’t static. Your interests and routines will evolve – and that is a good thing. Variety is the spice of life as they say (whoever they is), so keep evolving, experiment with new things and see where it takes you.
Final thoughts
The first 30 days of retirement are a bit like moving to a new country. Everything feels fresh, a little uncertain, and sometimes uncomfortable. But over time, you find your favourite café, you learn the shortcuts, you meet new people. Retirement is the same: it takes a little while to settle, but once you do, you’ll realise it’s a land full of possibilities.
So, if you’re in those early days and feeling a bit off balance, take heart: you’re not alone, and you’re not doing it wrong. You’re simply adjusting to a whole new way of living — one that you get to design. And that’s the real secret nobody tells you: retirement isn’t the end of something. It’s the beginning of a new chapter, one that you get to write entirely for yourself.
Of course, these first 30 days won’t look the same for everyone. Some people may move through these feelings more quickly, others may take longer, and some may not experience them at all. Retirement is a very personal journey, and there’s no single “right” pattern to follow — the important thing is to notice how you’re feeling and give yourself the space and kindness to adjust in your own time.