Forming an Identity in Retirement: Finding the New You.

So what do you do?

When you’ve spent decades being “the teacher,” “the engineer,” or “the manager,” the simple question when meeting someone for the first time of “So, what do you do?” can be pretty straightforward to answer during working life. But once you retire, for some, this can be a little more challenging to answer. Work is more than a wage; it quietly shapes where we go, who we see, the stories we tell about ourselves, and how we feel that we contribute to the greater good. No wonder many new retirees describe an odd lightness mixed with a tug of disorientation.

How We Build Identity Across Life

Before we look at how we build identity through life, let’s just take a moment to remind ourselves exactly what we mean when we talk about identity. You may be tempted to say, ‘Well, it’s your driving licence, Matt, ‘ and that is something I would very much not argue with you over; however, in this instance, we are going to go a little deeper. Let’s consider it this way. Think of it as your personality, your values and beliefs, your hobbies and your interests. All those aspects that come to define you as being the unique person you are. Throughout life, we assemble our identity from roles (parent, colleague, carer), activities (gardener, walker, choir member), values (curiosity, kindness, fairness, warmth), and communities (clubs, faith groups, neighbourhoods). Work often dominates because it bundles many identity ingredients at once.

• Structure: A timetable that anchors your days. It gives us a reason to get up in the morning. The bills need to be paid after all.
• Competence: Clear tasks and feedback—”I’m good at this.” Even better, someone else tells you you’re good at this.
• Belonging: A team, clients, or students who recognise you. A sense of camaraderie, perhaps, and maybe some banter and chucklesome moments along the way.
• Meaning: Ooh, this is a biggy. A sense that your efforts matter. You’re contributing to the greater good, whatever your greater good might be.

We build our identities up as we traverse this crazy journey called life. For some of us this is nice and straightforward. We might look at what we enjoy doing in life, our passions, where our strengths lie, our hobbies, our relationships, to give but a few examples. This takes an element of self-reflection as we evaluate what impact we have in this world and what we have to offer.

For a lot of us, however, establishing what makes up our identity can be challenging. It could be that through your hard work in life, you’ve not had the chance to partake in hobbies or develop interests, understandable when you consider the demands on our time as we journey through adulthood. For example, a 2025 survey by Savanta for Unmind found that 30% of UK employees feel their job dominates their identity.

This shows that nearly a third of working adults in the UK tie their sense of self closely to their jobs. For retirees, or those approaching retirement, this can make the transition challenging, as much of their identity may have been linked to work.

The article below also highlights the challenges two individuals faced when entering retirement, whereby they felt ‘lost’ and ‘in-between’ identities, describing it as not being fully in their previous life and not yet settled in the next chapter of their lives.

I find both of these articles of interest as they emphasise that a certain portion of the population feels that their job fully describes their identity, with an example of two individuals who have faced challenges in their transition into retirement when re-shaping their view of themselves.

Enough jibber jabber, Matt – surely it’s time for a fun fact now?

Ah, go on then. Please don’t take the following stat too seriously! According to Gettysburg College, the average person will spend 90,000 hours at work over the course of their lifetime. Wow, quite a lot really. No wonder the work we do shapes how we view ourselves throughout life. I think I need a day off.

Is Having an Identity in Life that Big of a Deal?

To recap, this blog is looking at the notion of looking to form an identity in retirement, to create the ‘new you’. We have looked at how a 2025 survey established that nearly a third of UK employees felt their job was a major part of their identity, whilst we then looked at two individuals who talked about the challenges they faced when transitioning from working life into their next phase of life

But should we really care? I mean, how often do we stop and think in life ‘gosh, what is my identity? Who am I really? What am I here for? Ordinarily, our thoughts are more likely to be considering what we would like for our evening meal, or why we put the washing on the line when we knew rain was on the way. But maybe, just maybe, we should consider these deeper types of questions in life.

Conclusion

Retirement isn’t just about leaving work behind—it’s about discovering who you are beyond the job title. Having a clear sense of identity gives retirees purpose, direction, and resilience. It fuels motivation to stay active, connects them to others, and provides meaning in everyday life. Without it, many risk feeling adrift, invisible, or unfulfilled. Identity is the thread that ties together well-being, social connection, and personal growth. By actively shaping who you want to be, you can approach this stage not as an ending, but as an opportunity to thrive, contribute, and truly enjoy life.

I’d love to hear from you: How has your sense of identity changed since retirement? Have you discovered new passions or roles that make you feel more ‘you’? Share your thoughts, stories, or questions in the comments below—let’s start a conversation about finding purpose, connection, and meaning in this exciting stage of life.