Retirement is often painted as a golden era – freedom from the daily grind, time to travel, relax and enjoy all that wonderful spare time that is ahead. Sounds nice doesn’t it? It is, if this is how your retirement shapes out. But that, of course, can be easier said than done.
For many, this transition into retirement can bring challenges, and one in particular I will talk about in this post – that is, the loss of purpose. After decades of structure, goals and responsibilities, the sudden absence of a clear role can leave retirees feeling adrift.
When you think about it, most of us have had a purpose since we were knee high to a grasshopper. We likely wouldn’t have seen it as a purpose when we were so young, but nevertheless, a purpose is what it was. We went to school, the idea being that we learnt, made new friends, got good grades, and then moved on to the next phase. This could have been into further education, undertaking apprenticeships, or heading straight into the wonderful world of the grind. All along the way, we held purpose, a role in life, some way of defining ourselves.
But when the journey of school life, through work life, reaches its end, the sudden absence of a clear role can leave retirees feeling adrift.
So how do we rediscover purpose in this new phase of life?
To begin, let’s look first at what purpose actually is and means, and how we might go about cultivating it throughout adulthood. It may be that you have never even thought too much about purpose throughout your life. That I can fully understand. We have so much to occupy our brain space with, from bringing up families, maintaining relationships, doing well in work, caregiving – the list, as you know, goes on and on – that finding time to think about purpose can be a bit of a challenge too far. We will look at why purpose is vital to our well-being, but first, let’s define what purpose actually is
What is purpose, really?
Purpose to me is more than just having something to do. For example, I mow the lawn and put out the bins every week, but I, for one, would like to think that’s not my purpose of being on this planet. It’s a little bigger than that. It can be the activities you undertake that give you a sense of satisfaction, activities where there is meaning behind the reasons that drive you to do what you do. It could be that you are contributing to something which is larger than yourself. It’s the internal compass that gives direction to our days and meaning to our lives.
- Professional identity – for example, your job role
- Family roles – for example, parent, partner, caregiver
- Creative or intellectual pursuits
- Community involvement or services
- Spiritual growth
It’s not static. Purpose evolves as we do, shaped by our experiences, our values (values are so important – I’ll be talking a lot more about values on this website) and changing circumstances. Life doesn’t stand still, as I’m sure you all will have experienced, so we have to try and evolve with these changing circumstances if we want to keep our mental well-being on the straight and narrow.
How do we find purpose in adulthood?
During our working years, our purpose is often tethered to career and family. We strive to build something – whether it’s a business, being a productive employee, a good home, a harmonious homelife, or a legacy. Our days tend to be filled with tasks, deadlines, and responsibilities that give structure to our time and a sense of achievement. Getting some encouraging feedback at work after a job well done, or seeing our child get good exam grades, makes us feel we are contributing well to the roles we are undertaking in life.
Throughout adulthood, we can also find purpose through;
- Relationships – Supporting loved ones (even when they nag us to put the toilet seat down – is that still a thing?), raising children, and being a dependable friend.
- Goals – Advancing in a career, learning new skills, losing weight.
- Contribution – Mentoring, caring for others, volunteering, giving to charities, helping others.
Even when life is hectic, which as we know can be quite a common thing, these roles and routines create a rhythm that reinforces our sense of identity and the value that we offer in life.
Why purpose can fade in retirement
Retirement can disrupt that rhythm. The role that once defined us – employee, manager, parent, may no longer apply. Yes, of course, taking the latter example of a parent, we are still a parent of course, but our kids may have flown the nest, commenced their lives, therefore the role we play might now be more on the periphery. That can be a tough pill to swallow.
The calendar empties, the demands on our time are drastically reduced down. This sounds nice in principle, but the reality of the situation can be anything but. It can lead to a feeling of disorientation, and make us question who exactly we now are and how we are contributing.
Common reasons purpose fades in retirement are:
- Loss of work identity: Work often provides status, structure and social connection. And a lot of stress and sometimes annoying people, but perhaps that’s a conversation for another day!
- Reduced social interaction: Colleagues, clients, and daily interactions disappear.
- Lack of goals: Without deadlines, tasks to complete, meetings to attend, motivation can wane.
- Cultural messaging: Society often treats retirees as ‘done’ rather than evolving
This last one, cultural messaging, is hugely important to me. Quite simply, that sentence of ‘society often treating retirees as done’ is one of the main reasons I started this website. I see society being this way, and to me, this is totally and utterly wrong, and change needs to happen. I hope I can play my own very small part in this.
Our purpose fading can lead to feelings of boredom, isolation, questioning of whether time is being wasted, and more. But here’s the truth – retirement doesn’t have to be the end of our purpose – it really doesn’t. We can control that. At times it might feel like we can’t, but in all truth, we can. We can redefine ourselves, we can set our own future. We have a blank canvas of time ahead of us, and we can fill that canvas with whatever we wish. No one controls us. We can live our own life and determine our own future. Not sure why, but it felt like those last few sentences needed some dramatic music behind them whilst reading them out. I’ll try and calm down a bit now!
Rediscovering purpose in retirement
Finding purpose in retirement requires curiosity (that thing we used to have an awful lot of as a kid – remember all the ‘why’ questions we used to ask?) We also need courage and a willingness to experiment. It’s about shifting from ‘What do I have to do?’ to ‘What do I want to do?’ Gosh, doesn’t that second one sound so much better?
Here are some powerful ways to explore and reignite purpose.
1. Reflect on your life’s themes
Look back over your life and ask:
What activities made me feel most alive? I believe we have evidence throughout our lives that, if we look back on and reflect, we can pinpoint what we enjoy doing. They may be obvious to you, or they may be buried deep. Look at how you spent your spare time during your working life, what you enjoyed, and maybe consider bringing more of that back into your life.
What values have guided my decisions? Values, I think, are so important. They are almost the driving blocks of how we live, or perhaps should live, our lives. Do we want to help others? Do we want to develop gratitude? Is family life important to you? So much to unpack. Look at what your own values are (I will write a future post on how you can establish what values are important to you) and live your life according to them.
Often, purpose is hiding in plain sight – in the patterns, passions and activities that have always been part of us.
2. Experiment without pressure
Retirement is the perfect time to try new things without the fear of failure. Take a pottery class, join a walking group, start a blog, join a choir, do some mystery shopping, travel, mentor someone – the list really is endless. The goal isn’t perfection here – it’s just exploration. We have so many choices out there, and of course, most of us will only touch the surface throughout our lifetime of all the things we can do.
Start small and see if the activity works for you. If it does, keep going and build on it. If it doesn’t, well, you can stop. You may never return to the activity again – that’s your choice – or you may decide in the future to give it another go. All you’ve lost is a bit of time. And you’ve got plenty more of that in the future to fill.
Think of it this way. Any past time you now have, there was a time when you weren’t doing it, and you made your first foray into it. For me, my two main hobbies are walking and listening to music. There was a time when I wasn’t doing either. Well, okay, I have walked for the majority of my life, so what I’m really talking about here is purposeful walking! These two hobbies have given me tens of thousands of hours of pleasure, but what if I hadn’t taken that first step to listen to my first 7-inch single back when I was around 8 years old (Antmusic by Adam and The Ants, by the way, in case you’re wondering)? No doubt I would have stumbled across music listening at some point, of course – it wasn’t necessarily a Dandy Highwayman that made it happen – but I had to take that first step. Just imagine, there could be multiple new hobbies/activities out there you haven’t tried yet, that, after a bit of experimentation, could end up being your new favourite thing. Something to ponder over, I think.
3. Reconnect with Community
Isolation can be a major barrier to purpose. Rebuilding social connections can reignite a sense of belonging and contribution.
Ideas:
- Join a local club or society. Do a quick Google of your local area – see what’s about.
- Volunteer for causes you care about. There are so many volunteering opportunities out there across a huge range of different things. Pick ones that are perhaps close to your heart or you feel have a particular need.
- Sign up for a course. It’s never too late to learn. I talk a lot about learning on this blog as I’m passionate that learning should be lifelong. Why can’t you study an A-level in your 70s or even take a degree in your 80s? Age should never, ever stop us.
- Mentor younger generations. Think of all the knowledge, experience, skills, just general life wisdom you will have accumulated over the years. Use that to help others. I firmly believe that as we get older, we get wiser – we learn what works and what doesn’t. We’ve faced particular challenges and have overcome them. Use that knowledge to help others – pass it on, so to speak.
4. Embrace Legacy
Purpose in retirement often shifts towards legacy – what you leave behind, how you’re remembered, and the impact you make.
On that point, I was listening to a podcast the other day about well-being in retirement and the guest on there was talking about retirees considering their own podcast and/or blog, perhaps on a subject of interest to them. He made reference to how your writings or your audio voice will still be there long after you have gone – essentially creating a legacy for your loved ones. You know, I’d never thought of that before! I appreciate this isn’t the sole reason to start a podcast or a blog – you’ve got to want to do it – but it’s a nice added extra that your words or your voice may well still be out there after you have shuffled off this mortal coil. Anyway, I didn’t intend to write that bit, but it’s there now, so I might as well leave it in!
To embrace your legacy, you might want to consider the following:
- Share your wisdom through writing or speaking, as referenced above
- Document your family history
- Support causes that reflect your values
- Help others navigate their own life transitions. For example, you may have changed jobs multiple times in your life, and you know someone who might be struggling with their own job change. Could you offer your own insights to help them navigate through this period?
- Write your own memoir – document your own life experiences, challenges you have faced and overcome, and the lessons you have learned.
Purpose Is a Practice, Not a Destination
Finding purpose in retirement isn’t a one-time event—it’s an ongoing practice. It requires attention, intention, and a willingness to evolve. Some days will feel rich with meaning; others may feel empty. That’s normal. The key is to keep showing up, keep exploring, and keep asking: “What matters to me now?”
Final Thoughts
Retirement isn’t the end of your story—it’s the beginning of a new chapter. One where you get to write the rules, follow your curiosity, and rediscover the joy of living with purpose. Whether through creativity, connection, contribution, or quiet reflection, your life still holds infinite potential.
So take a breath. Look inward. And begin again.