I don’t normally start my blog posts with a definition of a word, but today I’m feeling anarchic – I’m going to make an exception. This whole post is about ambition, and although I’m sure you will all know what the word means, let’s just remind ourselves. This will help set the tone for how the rest of this post will look. Here we go then.
ambition – a desire and determination to achieve success.
There are other definitions, of course, but this one, I think, works well. A desire and determination to achieve success. When you think about it, striving for success is something society has expected from us right from our early years. You went to school – a goal (amongst others) was to get good grades. School completed, you then got yourself a job. Well done. Now go on and get yourself promoted, earn more money, and outdo your peers. We don’t want you to stop now! And you could argue that we were aiming for goals in our baby/toddler days. Come on, get yourself walking now! And those nappies – we need to get you on that toilet, doing it for yourself. Come on – where’s your ambition?!
Okay, so a little tongue in cheek, but hopefully you see my point. Ambition is something drummed into us from an early age, and of course, it’s no bad thing. It helps us grow, achieve, gain recognition and more.
But the big question is: Is it okay to be unambitious in retirement?
And the answer is undoubtedly ‘yes’. This isn’t to say that you stop trying to achieve, or that you kick striving for goals into touch. What it is about is finding your own unique happiness. That you spend the time undertaking activities in your retirement years that give you pleasure. That might be huge, ambitious tasks like hopping backwards up Mount Everest or popping to the North Pole and back in a day. Or it might be more chilled out affairs, like watching your favourite cricket team, or relaxing whilst listening to your favourite music. These things are all deeply personal, but what this post will explore is that happiness and ambition don’t always go hand in hand, and that you, if you wish, can contribute to the world – and enjoy life – without chasing goals the way you once did.
What We Learn From A Lifetime of Being Driven
As we have touched upon, ambition plays a big part in our lives. From early-schooling, through to our careers, striving to improve, achieve and reach goals is a key facet of what we do. And that’s a good thing if approached in the right way. Harm starts to come in if we become too obsessed or excessive, or if we deviate from our true values.
So ambition approached in the right way is good. But whilst ambition can fuel success, it doesn’t necessarily fuel happiness.
In fact, psychologists have noted that ambition – defined as reaching ever higher for external validation and measurable outcomes – correlates more with success than with joy or well-being. This article, published in Psychology Today in October 2025, argues that as we age – especially into retirement – we naturally shift from ambition (that of seeking external success and higher status) to aspiration (focusing on inner growth and meaning).
Being honest, I’m pleased I came across that article, as those of you who have read other posts of mine will be aware that meaning, purpose and inner growth are key ideas I talk about. Phew, that’s given me a nice level of reassurance there.
The article further adds that ambition may correlate with success, but not with happiness, well-being or longevity, and that retirement often prompts a re-evaluation of what matters.
It’s food for thought, isn’t it? We can presume that strong ambition leads to good results, success, recognition and more, which it certainly can, and this, in turn, will lead to greater happiness and life satisfaction. And therein that’s where the problem lies. This isn’t necessarily the case.
What we need to consider, then, is that retirement might, just by virtue of the calmer and less goal-oriented landscape it can offer, be the first time that striving for a particular outcome isn’t being expected of you. For many, that can provide a sense of relief, but perhaps also an element of confusion. Let’s see how we can flip from a mindset focused on ambition to one of aspiration.
From Ambition to Aspiration
So remember, we’re not saying here that ambition needs to stop in retirement. What we are considering here is another approach to mental fulfilment, of achieving happiness without external validation, and always trying to achieve.
I started this blog post with a definition of the meaning of ambition. Let’s remind ourselves again what this is, but this time let’s pop a definition of the meaning of aspiration aswell.
ambition – a desire and determination to achieve success.
aspiration – a hope of achieving something.
The meanings are pretty similar, that’s for sure. But I think there is a subtle difference. Ambition talks about success, whereas aspiration doesn’t. Success means you want a certain result, and if you don’t get it, well, you haven’t been successful. Ambition has a defined outcome to achieve, and not obtaining it could be deemed a failure.
Aspiration, however. talks about the hope of achieving something. This might be a personal goal, such as weight loss, adopting a new hobby or offering support for others when needed. In the language we use, you may well have heard the phrase ‘to aspire for something’, which indicates we are going to give it a go, but it’s not the be-all and end-all if we don’t achieve it. To me, this isn’t being half-hearted. It’s just a different approach to the cut-throat world we might have been used to. A more gentle way, perhaps, to still try to achieve in life, but perhaps in a kinder way to our overall well-being.
Retirement can be the time to make that shift. Instead of asking “What do I want to accomplish?” you might ask “How do I want to feel?” or “How do I want to spend my time?”
Pulling back on ambition doesn’t mean you are sacrificing having a purpose. It just means you are approaching purpose in a different way – and that really can be quite a freeing experience.
Is Happiness the Opposite of Ambition?
Not exactly – but they are distinct.
When I think of ambition, I think of striving, perhaps going out of one’s comfort zone, and any result being future-based. This can be at the cost of present-day contentment. You want something, you haven’t got it yet, happiness may (or may not) come in the moment that you achieve whatever it is you are pursuing.
Happiness, on the other hand, can be found in social connection, being present, simplicity, and meaning that isn’t tied to achievement.
I read more about this as the years go by, perhaps because more research is coming out, but the idea of experiences contributing more to happiness levels than material possessions seems to be gaining a lot of traction. Life goals such as spending time with family and friends, travelling and spending time on hobbies were cited as important in this survey from Royal London.
Others report that truly relishing a slower pace – without pressure to accomplish – can be deeply satisfying and restorative.
This isn’t to say purpose disappears; it’s just that it doesn’t necessarily have to be linked anymore to competitive ambition. Purpose can be found in everyday activities such as nurturing relationships, learning new skills at your own pace or helping others.
So really, it’s considering the idea that slowing down in retirement and scaling down on ambitious goals is no bad thing. If you are seeking happiness, and who in their right mind wouldn’t want to go on a hunt for that, there are alternative ways you can do this. You don’t have to compete with others, you don’t need to go full throttle into huge goals – you just need to have ideas of what activities bring your joy in life, then consistently do them.
Redefining Contribution Without Ambition
Letting go of ambition doesn’t mean you will become passive, lazy or rudderless. The fact is, you can contribute powerfully without having high-pressure goals.
Let’s take a look at how.
- Through relationships
Being a supportive partner, father, grandparent, mentor, or friend doesn’t require ambition. Anything but. It’s about you being present, having meaningful conversations, some laughs, showing interest, being empathetic, all human characteristics that help us bond with others. No goals to aim for here. No 100 metres to run in sub 10 seconds. Just plain old being good to other people and having some fun conversations.
- 2. Through informal roles
What do I mean by informal roles? Well, things like helping a neighbour, perhaps, sharing your wisdom, tending to a community garden – tasks that are not groundbreaking, could be argued as fairly simple, but can make a difference to others or your local area. So, no real ambition here, but you are contributing and impacting the lives of others.
- 3. Through curiosity
Not sure why, but every now and again, when I type the word ‘curiosity’, I think of 80’s British pop band Curiosity Killed The Cat. It was never an ordinary day when they were around. Apologies! If you know, you know. What I should be talking about here is our ability to try new things, to be inquisitive with others, and to experiment with new hobbies. Let that childlike inquisitiveness come through, and see what you can add to your life. This isn’t to try and master something – to be the best – but to simply enjoy growth for its own sake.
- 4. Through altruism
Doing small acts of service to help others. That’s got to be a good thing, hasn’t it? Perhaps volunteering at a local charity, partaking in community events, litter clean-up or offering free tutoring or mentoring for students. The list, of course, could go on. Altruistic activities have many mental health benefits, including helping us to be more active and reduce isolation.
The idea of this small section is just to show that we can make a difference in life in fairly simplistic ways. Not by attaining more, hard work, and pushing through obstacles (which you have likely been doing for the bulk of your life), but by taking the time to pull back and contribute in perhaps more simplistic ways, ways that can add value to those you are purposely trying to connect with.
So, Is It Really Okay to Be Unambitious in Retirement?
Wow, if only my To Do list were like this every day. I’d get it done in no time. A sinch. Okay, so we return to the post title of this blog – is it really okay to be unambitious in retirement? The answer is:
Absoutely
In fact, for many people, it’s the happiest and healthiest way to live in retirement.
We’ve spent a lifetime up until this point taking exams, meeting deadlines, aiming for promotion, striving for more money, trying to be successful – geez, I’m getting mentally fatigued just writing these things out! Retirement offers us that much-needed opportunity to:
- Slow down
- Let go of big goals
- Enjoy the present
- Find happiness in the small routines
- Choose well-being over ambition
This doesn’t mean you lack purpose or are not trying to move forward with your life. You are just seeking contribution, joy and happiness in other pursuits. Life doesn’t just offer one path to get to where we want. We have choices, and can get to the same destination by choosing a different way. Ambition is one of those ways, but if a lifetime of ambition has started to tire you out, choose a different path, a path perhaps where you can aspire to continue to develop your own qualities.
Okay, so over to you!
I purposely searched for an image of someone pointing, but crikey, it looks like her finger is about to come out of the screen! I’ve just double-checked mine, and I don’t think there’s a crack on it yet.
Some articles I write, I feel, are quite straightforward and perhaps don’t illicit too much debate (although you, as the reader, can very much be the judge of that), but this one I would love to hear different views on.
Slowing down, having aspirations, and continuing to contribute to society certainly seems a good approach to take in our retirement years, but I can also see that after a lifetime of striving, of being ambitious, why people may wish to take this philosophy into their retirement years.
What do you think? Do you want to retain ambition in your retirement, perhaps keep striving for big goals and success, however success looks to you? Or are you happy to take a slower approach, to aspire to improve, contribute, be social and add value, but in a more gentle way? Or perhaps a bit of both – meeting somewhere in the middle?
Please do leave your comments below. I love discussion and the sharing of ideas, so if you have a spare minute or two, please drop your thoughts below.
Thanks again for your time, and enjoy your day.